The Right Things

Remember I've a simple plan to move on? When my heart and brain contradicting each other, My simple plan was "I listen to my heart". Sound a bit vague. There isn't a concrete plan, but everything I do, I do it with heart. The last reconcilation made was to give the angel a family, even I knew it's fairly impossible but I went ahead, I know I was doing a RIGHT thing. Whether it's right, it's very much an individual perception, as for me, that is what my heart told me so, most importantly it's my life. This is the least thing I can do for the angel - Forgive.

The second Right thing was I put her away from the father. Sounded selfish but it isn't. When you're single mother and the father not giving any form of support but troubles, you need to decide what's best. You need aids not problems, anyone else comes in your way, tell them off. When I realise the father begins to lapse in child support fee, didn't show up regularly or late, last minutes cancellation, spoilt her with expensive gifts, these anger me to no ends, anything affects me would have the effect on her because we were emotionally connected. So I told him " you should only see her when you've learnt to respect me and show love to her".

We live peacefully without the father present, somehow, at least she doesn't crave for the father anymore. She could focus on her study, move on with her life, she has peace of mind. I made her feel loved all the time. Of course there are times she wanted the father badly but I could only tell her the positives side of having without a father who unable to love hear wholeheartedly.

The another Right thing was I led my life with the focus on her and her only. I give myself no time and attention, all I wanted was to make her happy. I spent all my time and penny on her, I knew I was doing a right thing. She was in trauma but today she is a confident child, she loves herself, she loves me and people around her. Worth the efforts.

The last Right thing, we were on trial for the child maintenance fee. I debated should I take on on this emotion involved legal contest afterall she didn't want to see anyone of us got hurt. I proceed, because what I get resulted from court order will goes to the child welfare, she deserved it. At least I try.

It's the another year of single mother journey, reminisce the past 4 years journey, I wish to proclaim that I did the right things, most importantly my heart is fulfiled and peaceful. The first step is always tough, my philosophy? "You will never know you can until you try".

For now, I wish to conclude the first chapter of single mother journey. Why do I concluded this? Because it's a right thing to do:)