I come across a video clip featuring Christianity something inspired me in this blog entry.
I grew up from a family who worshipping 'Guan Yin'. My elder siblings were 'assigned' to carry out prayer twice a day, joss stick is the ritual. whilst the younger one (like me) will help in burning paper (well, other than the ghost festival's I still don't know what was that for. So I went to google, it's call 'Kim' denote money (What the hell the goddess requires money? lol. I got no clue. Fuck it lah, this entry isn't about what Buddhist worship is. Oher praying materials like Chinese candle, burning oil etc are part of prayer as well.
During the goddess festival we serve meats, fruits, I supposed it served as a return favour of kindness rendered by the goddess. However as I grew older, I realised this form of worship is kind of crooked (Of course I didn't tell me mom about this), as a goddess (Buddhist, especially) killing should be a taboo, not to mention serving it before god. Guan Yin Temple are also decorated with 'Dragons' as it supposed to be Guan Yin's 'attendant'. I find these are just too tedious and doesn't make sense to me, should Goddess presence spiritually, does SHE even care about all these mundane ritual? Any bible cited these at the first place? Since SHE never presence physically, how would the human being got to know about these ritual? I wonder.
During the goddess festival we serve meats, fruits, I supposed it served as a return favour of kindness rendered by the goddess. However as I grew older, I realised this form of worship is kind of crooked (Of course I didn't tell me mom about this), as a goddess (Buddhist, especially) killing should be a taboo, not to mention serving it before god. Guan Yin Temple are also decorated with 'Dragons' as it supposed to be Guan Yin's 'attendant'. I find these are just too tedious and doesn't make sense to me, should Goddess presence spiritually, does SHE even care about all these mundane ritual? Any bible cited these at the first place? Since SHE never presence physically, how would the human being got to know about these ritual? I wonder.
Whilst I was searching for my soul resting place, I stumbled on one temple near my house burning no incenses resulted in choking smokes and flaming sensation. This is another genre of Buddhist, I guess it's very similar to Christianity dilemma as there are Luftenan, Methodist, Potestant etc). As I enter to the centre, I got mesmerise by its peaceful reciting scriptures, 'Hey this is what Buddhist should be', I exclaimed. 'Worshipping a god should be through a form of communication spiritually than burning and killing'. However that doesn't dawn on me that I required a religion.
I used to admire at Christianity as I received peace in their form of worship - Biblicism, however there was huge objection from my parents. Overtime, people invited me to get to know Jesus better, however I couldn't really comprehend why the church was formed at the first place. Why do the people required to attend Church, 'Isn't HE presence wherever we're?'. I got to know later 'Church' means christian community. I can accept the fact that it serves as a platform to help those needed i.e giving mental/moral/morale support, it's a place to receive those who got lost in their life, it's a place where you could return the favour you received from HIM back to community. But I don't agreed with the hours of worshipping, in Protestant Denomination ' Service'. I also attended church who dance as a form of worship, I supposed this makes worship more lively in a sense.I find it amusing towards those who hold resentment on people couldn't be converted, it led me to think 'are these people getting some sort of promises by the number of conversions'. I know this is cynical, Fuck it. Nope, I don't quite able to commit myself into any religion.
I couldn't comprehend the stringent requirements in the event married of two religion, one must be converted. If the God as generous as it preached 'God Love You before You Love HIM', deviate one from its relationship with god is painful. I can understand the purpose of marrying two into one religion is for the sake avoiding conflict. But FUCK, why is there a confict in religion at the first place, why there are many differences between religions? Why make life so difficult? I couldn't comprehend.
Yes, sorry I'm an agnostic but I do believe there is a .......GOD? Is this Jesus? No. Guan Yin? No. Allah? no. There isn't particular god I'm praying to (Yes I pray when I need to ease or calm my mind), I wasn't sure If I want to regard the 'GOD' as Jesus but I finally come to a conclusion that there is ONLY ONE GOD in this universe, regardless religions (if there is). Why should there be so many form of God at the first place? Well, there would be thousands forms if you delve into.
At times I even regards this ONE GOD as TIME. Irony huh? Why 'TIME'? I notice my prayers in the past has been answered over a period of ups and downs. If there were existence of God, isn't our prayer got answered in a snap of finger? lol. Why there are tragedy at the first place? Well, there are many answers over these doubts. But no. I couldn't connect myself to any.
Yes, sorry I'm an agnostic but I do believe there is a .......GOD? Is this Jesus? No. Guan Yin? No. Allah? no. There isn't particular god I'm praying to (Yes I pray when I need to ease or calm my mind), I wasn't sure If I want to regard the 'GOD' as Jesus but I finally come to a conclusion that there is ONLY ONE GOD in this universe, regardless religions (if there is). Why should there be so many form of God at the first place? Well, there would be thousands forms if you delve into.
At times I even regards this ONE GOD as TIME. Irony huh? Why 'TIME'? I notice my prayers in the past has been answered over a period of ups and downs. If there were existence of God, isn't our prayer got answered in a snap of finger? lol. Why there are tragedy at the first place? Well, there are many answers over these doubts. But no. I couldn't connect myself to any.
Sorry, I'm Agnostic.
Personally I think having a relationship with god enable a form of focus in their life, some dependency in their wishes, if you able to connect with one follow it wisely.
No comments:
Post a Comment