That's true somehow, depends on the EFFORTS, WISDOMS, FINANCIAL the single parent witheld, having said that, living parents lead similar situtation if those were lacking.
When I decided to leave this broken marriage for good after 6 years of tangling, there go my Single Mother life. Yes, it was tough or it should not be tough if you didn't undergo many big decisions in your life. I was juggling between - new apartment, new job and new life with her - at the same time.
Whilst going through the grievance from failure of marriage, starting new life, new job, new place at the same time you're the little mind dependence - emotionally, it does drive you crazy with immense stresses. Putting all these pieces back in shape and move on was fairly tough for me. Somehow, if your marriage has broken and unable to mend, you need to move on. That's my driver.
Making the first step is always tough. You will be wondering how are you going to lead your life? How to take care of the kid single handedly? Can I cope with her emotions? Education? time? Financially? Taking pictures? House chore? Play? Meals? Dating? list will go on and on. haha..somehow when one is skeptical, one would skeptical about every damn thing. To move on, what I bring along is FAITH.
I decided to embark on a new life with no good plan. However I chose to believe things would go in my way or rather I go in the way (fate) which I could adapt to. I believe nothing can be more worst than the tormenting broken marriage(remember, I move on only after 6 good years). I started off with moving into new place during one long school break, it was hell as I need to juggle in between many things - funitures, fittings, finishing, designings, bargaining, follow ups admist my stressful new job all-by-myself. Then attending to her schooling needs as she started her first grade in school etc. It was immense stresses that I had went through.
The house was in the mess during the period of renovation, imagine all the unpack boxes were scattered everywhere in the living hall. I took out my clothes from the box each day and change it in my room with newspaper covered window (I haven't shop for curtains). The house full of dust, I had my dinner on the boxes (she was placed at my parent house, since it's school holiday). Sleep on mattress which placed on the floor, and look out from the window which I could see the full view of the sky, something made my heart flattery. I look forward each day to a really nice comfortable place for me and her.
It was enormous stress that I had went through, did i mentioned that, yes but it's all worthy. I gave her a home which belongs to her and her only, the home has her picture everywhere, she has her own room, own tiny bed, a wardrobe with beautiful dress, I want to give her a HOME HOME...... and I made it. Most importantly, she felt HOME too. But that's not the end, she missed her dad.
She craving for her dad each day, untill she given up when her dad hardly call nor visited her. There go another role I've to play - Father. I gave her 200% love. I play with her, fun with her at the same time I nurture her that she would carry herself as a confident, well mannered, loving kid. Of course I'm also her psyciatrists, I told her the truth about what's going on, why it turn out to be this way, the pros and cons, ease her worries with my promises (of course I kept my promises to her, never failed) then I took her through each day to cope with her trauma, patiently.
Today, she's a happy kid, she understand there are many other kids in the same status as her due to broken family. She understand somehow it's better to be in happy, peaceful single family than in a constant arguement environment. Most importantly she understand I love her, UNCONDITIONALLY.
Whilst going through the grievance from failure of marriage, starting new life, new job, new place at the same time you're the little mind dependence - emotionally, it does drive you crazy with immense stresses. Putting all these pieces back in shape and move on was fairly tough for me. Somehow, if your marriage has broken and unable to mend, you need to move on. That's my driver.
Making the first step is always tough. You will be wondering how are you going to lead your life? How to take care of the kid single handedly? Can I cope with her emotions? Education? time? Financially? Taking pictures? House chore? Play? Meals? Dating? list will go on and on. haha..somehow when one is skeptical, one would skeptical about every damn thing. To move on, what I bring along is FAITH.
I decided to embark on a new life with no good plan. However I chose to believe things would go in my way or rather I go in the way (fate) which I could adapt to. I believe nothing can be more worst than the tormenting broken marriage(remember, I move on only after 6 good years). I started off with moving into new place during one long school break, it was hell as I need to juggle in between many things - funitures, fittings, finishing, designings, bargaining, follow ups admist my stressful new job all-by-myself. Then attending to her schooling needs as she started her first grade in school etc. It was immense stresses that I had went through.
The house was in the mess during the period of renovation, imagine all the unpack boxes were scattered everywhere in the living hall. I took out my clothes from the box each day and change it in my room with newspaper covered window (I haven't shop for curtains). The house full of dust, I had my dinner on the boxes (she was placed at my parent house, since it's school holiday). Sleep on mattress which placed on the floor, and look out from the window which I could see the full view of the sky, something made my heart flattery. I look forward each day to a really nice comfortable place for me and her.
It was enormous stress that I had went through, did i mentioned that, yes but it's all worthy. I gave her a home which belongs to her and her only, the home has her picture everywhere, she has her own room, own tiny bed, a wardrobe with beautiful dress, I want to give her a HOME HOME...... and I made it. Most importantly, she felt HOME too. But that's not the end, she missed her dad.
She craving for her dad each day, untill she given up when her dad hardly call nor visited her. There go another role I've to play - Father. I gave her 200% love. I play with her, fun with her at the same time I nurture her that she would carry herself as a confident, well mannered, loving kid. Of course I'm also her psyciatrists, I told her the truth about what's going on, why it turn out to be this way, the pros and cons, ease her worries with my promises (of course I kept my promises to her, never failed) then I took her through each day to cope with her trauma, patiently.
Today, she's a happy kid, she understand there are many other kids in the same status as her due to broken family. She understand somehow it's better to be in happy, peaceful single family than in a constant arguement environment. Most importantly she understand I love her, UNCONDITIONALLY.
"it's better to be in happy, peaceful single family than in a constant argument environment."
ReplyDelete- Agree! instead of dragging and giving the kid a bad impression, leaving at earlier stage is not that bad.
keep on your love to her and yourself, which will lead her to a brighter future. she can see, feel, and understand. life goes on!
Thanks for sharing the same thought!!! We're having fun each day now:)
DeleteAre you a parent too? Just curious with your rationality. :)
haha. i'm not yet, but i'm in the "child" position, so i guess i know what those "child" thinking and wants. well just my 各人意见啦... some apply some may not.
ReplyDeleteEvery comments count. Thanks for your valuable input:)
ReplyDelete