Are men being childish or women just being mature

 

I've heard many complaints about Men being childish, these comments came from women of course. Their remarks include" why did he behave like a kid?", "can't men just grow up??!!", " He is just childish!!". These basically applied when men are unsync with women elaborated thoughts. I find it amusing because I personally faced a few (Grins).

 

I was once playing tennis with a close friend whilst some personal matter keep running through my mind. To keep my score I forced myself through to focus in the game, however I got distracted at a point of hitting the ball, it flew out of the court (not that I was super good in tennis, but I ain't that bad either, the ball should not have fallen out of the court!). So i realised my concentration got tested therefore the bad hit, amazingly, and astonishingly i realised these changes! I shared this to my friend that I never realised such susbtle changes in my life, I never able to tell that I made mistake was due to distraction, in the past, I will always thought hey, I'm a lousy player, I wasn't good etc. BUT, at that point of time, I KNEW, I was out of focus and therefore the ball was supposely to hit over the net but it went haywire instead! It was such a subtle discovery but shocked me.

 

Well, a conclusion out of this scenario was - I'm aged but good aged as wisdom has finally poured on me. How I wish these wisdoms come to me when I was younger but this is how our biology works, you live, you experience, these consolidated and transformed to make you wiser. Somehow, this "wisdom" came to me in all the sudden! in a blink of eyes!. Well this could be another topic itself. So lets come back to the Childish Men topic (Winks).

 

So women aged with wisdom (like me;), I filter my mind before anything come out from my mouth, I consider the pros and cons before any action taken, I deliberate thus makes you a mature and wiser woman. With the wisdom, I knew what I want and don't, I deal with people who respect me, have a form of intelligence in conversation, mature in socialling, uphold my promise, responsible for my behavior, basically think and do like what other mature adults do. Any form of reverse will be cut off from my circle. Simple as that. I don't want complications.

 

So this is what maturity thought me and lead my life.

 

Now I come across a man who thinks he is mature (I think). At his age of mid 30s, he does has some form of maturity mind frame. but not well formed. As he is in my social circle and renown, my story here will be pretended a little. So bear with me and pardon.

 

Scenario 1

 

We went on an assignment. My pre-requisite was it has to carry out in oversea. So he promised. However we ended up completing the assignment locally. Why did I let it happen in the first place? Simply because of his sincerity and efforts made to work on the assignment. I didn't like it and in fact felt dissapointed but neither I wanted dishonoured someone effort, afterall, HE DID MADE AN EFFORT. So I strike the balance to complete the job locally.

 

On the very next week, he requested to do a new assignment with me. This time I stand very firm on my requirement. I said sternly so that I won't being "cheated again". H started complains about financially doesn't support this, he is not getting paid therefore unable to keep the promise etc.

 

But what he didn't realize was, there was an AGREEMENT before the assignment being accepted. It brings bad repercussion on one reputation and relationship when you didn't keep the promise yet giving tons of excuses. A promise is a promise, that how we gain respect from people whom we deal with. Any excuses after a scene is deemed childish.

 

Of course there is another trick of dealing with scenario like this (grins) " Just admit that you you're wrong", apologize and move on. Simple as that. Afterall, we don't really petty over things like this, an apology is just a gesture of showing respect to yourself and people you dealt with. But the man keeps repeating he isn't being appreciated worse still pushing the responsibility by blaming someone else etc. That gone into real mess. If you unable to carry out the promise, DON'T EVER FUCKING PROMISE. I seriously very Tulan (I don't swear it all the time lah, but if that pushed me up to the limit, you bet!!) people who break promise. Matter of fact, a simple apology would do the job. Dumb! I do not hardup for an apology but I real upset when someone twisting and pinpointing as if I was in the wrong instead! (Vomit right).

 

Moral of the story: A man should carry themselve like a man, act like a man and speak like a man. Dare to admit mistake, pushing away responsibility, blaming someone else is real childish and unattractive.

 

 

Scenario 2

 

A business partner offer a business opportunity, a real gain. I didn't react to it because men always talk and boast about their connections and networks. But he follow up the next day wanted to pursue this biz deal with me. So I began work on the deal, schedulling, preparing on tackling this deal. Since he follow up deliberately, my confident level of this deal rose. The night before the deal, he request to change of schedule to next day, that is first sign of fooling. The following day, he refused to answer calls, texts but keep you min. reply, second sign of fooling. I called it an end on the third sign of fooling, it's such a childishness, irresponsible behavior that youcould get from a man, a bizman. Any problems could have told upfront but he chose to avoid and run.

 

Scenario 3

 

This story? Secret but this is real cute childsih (Grins and chuckles).

 

 

So what I'm trying to tell here is, c' on, grow up men! Speak and behave  like a man. Perhaps men are not as sensitive, but hey!!

 

a) Make up for the mistake, that is common sense

b) Think for others (this is real mature adult do) before us, it's not easy but we try

c) C'on, teacher taught us what "PROMISE" is about??!!

d) and the consequences of unable to deliver

e) We learnt  in school to say "SORRY" when we made mistake

 

most of all, childish men denied themselve, they are unable to present themselve as who they are thus they appeared unsteadily. I would say most women past that self denial stage early thus we are able to carry outself mature and confident (Scoff)

When someone unable to uphold a PROMISE, i regards them as a KID. Sorry I don't like dealing with kids. I love playing with them, mess with their mind (haha, I'm good at it but they love me like hell) but not real business.

 

 

 

YOU BET!!



 

Politician & Sex

 

I haven't been blogging for a while, this particular news does make me ponder, so I decided to share my thoughts here.

I come across this sex scandal from a blogger site that Michael Palmer, a member of Singapore Parliament has resigned due to infidelity. That also reminded me of a Politician from Johor, Malaysia, Chua Soi Lek but speaking about these politicians' sex scandals, do you really think they deserved to be sacked or stepped down regardless contributions they rendered to the country?

 

 

Most men also have a weakness for women and history has shown that many great men have fallen due to the craving for lust. Besides fulfilling a biological need, bedding a woman brings to man the feeling of having conquer something espeically if the woman is of great beauty. Men tend to view their women as trophies they have attain and no one wants to conquer an ugly one.

 

Whether she was a pretty or an ugly one, do these politicians destined to be out of their politic position in the event of commiting adultery? Are they supposed to carry themselve as a saint as long as they are in that position? I dissect the answer into few facets.

 

a) From the biological stand point, yes men often falling for women they attracted to without considering marital status, morality, professionalism. We are all aware and almost well accepted the fact that men are blinded by lust sometime, that is what men made of.

 

b) Whilst men go after needs and beauty, women go after power and status and authority which a man possess. I must say the charisma withheld are manly and attractive. In another word whilst men like to conquer a beautiful woman, women are attracted to powerful men. What I'm trying to say is that, the chances of falling into such temptations by a politician is higher than a commoner, especially a good looking one like Michael Palmer, women would throw themselve to him. So should we give him or these politicians a "sympathy" vote? No.

 

c) Being a public figure, politician carries more responsibilities than a commoner like you and me. The extra responsibity is to be an exemplary role model. Why public figure are binded by this responsibility? Well, look at how K-pop affects our lifestyle today, we watch Korean drama, music, fashion, speak and to certain extend the behaviour. Look at how a celebrity influences its audiences by being an embassador for a campaign, product or commercial. Think about Ricky Martin, his public declaration as homosexual guy has rendered great impact in homosexual community, today, more government is under the pressure of legalizing the marriage by the same gender. So imagine, if we agreed to extramarital affair of these politicians, what will happen to adultery law eventually? Where is the boundary of a marriage? Protection towards women community? It's scary.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So the message here is very clear, whilst I sympathize for their vulnerability over lust and women, but hey, that's the underlying responsibility behold for withholding the power, money and status. If you unable to uphold, you may step down and happiliy commiting adultery like a commoner , afterall you are only answerable to your family but not the whole world.

 

 

Insomnia

 

 

I believe most of us have problem to sleep, be it short term or chronical, matter of fact, sleep is most important life cycle. Many of us are aware of the benefits of good sleep, scientifically, 8 hours sleeps would be perfect but some 5-6 hours. Our organs get to rest, revitalize during this period of time, liver starts working to detox from 11pm - 1am, physic metabolism happened between 5-6am. I don't know the accuracy level of my analysis but sleep is definitely dang important to us. It lead to bad life cycle and ultimately can harm your health.

 

 

Anyway, what do you do when you can't sleep? one day, two days, three days, for a period of week or weeks, you start getting worried but the more you worried the worse it will become. So you resort to medication, but it last you days or weeks, it became not effective once your body immuned to it.

 

 

So do I have problem to sleep? Yes. A person who went through depression and suffered from trauma, the answer is affirmative. I went through moments of worried and anxiety those days when I can't sleep. I worry about my complexion (of course, women take good care of their appearance - wrinkles/finelines), worry about my health, body inflammations (chinese saying "heaty") each day I wake up, my vision blurr I worries about early near-sighted ( I know I am getting it as I aged, but not now!!).

 

 

 

I tried many remedy including yoga, exercise, lavender aromatic oil, herbs but no avail. Doctor said you must relax, but how to relax and what caused me NOT RELAX? haha. well. Thought I was recovering from failure of marriage, but to fully recovered from it you need to resolve and move on. The process of move on isn't easy as compared to hidding in the "separation mode", both equally drained me out. But I would rather choose to move on with challenge but get to overcome than hidding forever, see the difference?

 

 

The insomnia isn't overcome overnight. I had always awoke middle of the night to ensure I never oversleep to send TT to school, to feed her, prepare her to school, although I'm exausted at time. I been through tougher time, more depressed moments and more anxiety than before, but my heart is light and happy. Simply because my sacrifices being paid off by her growth, happiness, health than burden with same emotions but gained nothing.

 

My sleeps getting better as my heart feels lighter each day but it has nothing more than the recent break from work which gave a substantial break from single mother journey. 

 

 

In conclusion, remedy to cure insomnia isn't coming from external materials but peace from your mind and soul.

 

Firstly, assess your stress level, if you wake up middle of the night, regular nightmares

 

Secondly, determine your stress factor, work? love? family? Financial? resolve it.

 

Thirdly, find ways to destress, this is utmost important, drinking and smoking would only aggrave your condition.

 

 

Say is easier than done, I know of many problems can't be resolved easily, but Nothing Cannot Be Resolved, look at me as example. Choose the path which can make you move on, regardless how tough. The key of resolution is choose the less damage in the event all ways out are harzadous.