Qing Ming Observance

The sky was still dark, I drove out from my house and arrived sharp 7am at the Hokkien cemetry (Hokkien is one of the province in China also known as a dialect). I could see sunlight crawling into dark sky from the other end of the hill, the sun is breaking the dawn, it was beautiful. I walked heading to the grave I used to and I was the only one at that very moment. Just like every other year I was there to observe my beloved late brother, someone were so close to me, held me and guard me from harm. It's yearly ritual to observe the ancestor or late family members, it was also believed that the 'spirit' will only be released this day to 'see' their family other than the 'Ghost Festival'.

Preparation was done by beloved sister (the benefits of being the youngest in the family - less responsibility lah). They got the 'Kim' (imitation money), food & fruits, joss sticks & candles for worshipping, they got the weeding knife & gloves etc to clean the headstone. I always asked to present because I'm one of the youngest and I never failed to show up and so does other siblings....

For so many years my mom was unable to attend this ritual as Chinese believed it brings bad luck to pay 'visit' to their children. She always pray for good health, prosperity and peace for the family and.......... '4 digit numbers' at time which I find it crookered. Well.

Who could tell if the spirits are still 'exist' or have gone for next life (Buddhist believed in  living spirit until the time of reincarnation, however no one could tell how long do they 'stay'), but all I know was I can see him and feel him in my dream...just like before. I don't quite believed he's still lingering in 'this life' anymore, nevertheless, I cherish the moment of worshiping and observing.

Qing and Ming denotes clear and bright, it's our duty brighten (weeding & cleaning)b as the grave represent the whole family Feng Sui (Properity). Graves spreaded all over the hills and some could be as old as 500 years or more, long weeds and quiet all year long other than Qing Ming festival, thus it can be quite horror to 'visit' during the low season.

Today, as usual, I didn't bring any equipments with me. I said 'Hello' to my late brother and start cleaning up the headstone and thomb. Weeds grew high and up, brown leaves scattered everywhere, soil stucked at the 'foyer' resulted from rains.I weed and sweep, weep and sweep (with bare hand? of course not. You see the big leaves below? I bundled 6-8 of them to make it like a broom!! smart huh?).  There were plenty of time left by the time after cleaning, I  sat on the arch to rest whilst watching other family's ritual. The irony is some family every play firecrackers as part of the ritual. I took a few pictures of the surrounding, it's beautiful and peaceful.

 The wilted brown leaves with diameter at approx. 1 feet spread all over the grave.

The frangifani tree stood in front of the grave. 

The beautiful fragraced frangifani flowers and wilted brown big leaves had its beautiful combination laid on the grave in this picture.

After 2 decades of avoidance ( yes it was painful to remember about his demise) and I finally accept the fact that he has Gone Gone (Gone with his spirit). 

I love you my beloved brother, you're always on my mind

 12 April 1971 ~ 21 Jul 1990 
(Chinese Lunar Calendar)